A personal recovery story by Renske

If someone had told me a year ago what my life would look like today, I would never have believed them. After many attempts at recovery there was one thing I did know: this was my last chance, and I wanted to give it everything I had.

Gathering what little strength I had left, I got on a plane and travelled to the other side of the world to Imani Treatment Centre for Eating Disorders and the beginning of the journey that gave me my life back.

When I arrived at Imani, I was lost. I couldn’t see a future for myself, and I wasn’t even sure if I wanted one. I felt hopeless, disconnected and unable to trust anyone, including myself.

I made a decision. I decided to say yes to every opportunity for healing that came my way. I embraced every possible avenue of support and tried things I never imagined would help me. From EMDR to Occupational Therapy, which helped me better understand and manage my neurodiversity, to cold water immersion in the restorative beauty of seaside tidal pools, volunteering and participating in equine therapy with children with disabilities, and embracing the 12-Step principles that Imani integrates into its treatment programme by going to meetings, working the Steps and finding a sponsor, I stayed open to every experience and every possibility for change.

Little by little, those experiences helped me reconnect with myself and with life again.

Today, I can honestly say I feel the opposite of how I felt then. I have hope. I feel connection, purpose and trust in myself, the people around me and the future. Life still isn’t always easy, but now I know how to cope. I know how to ask for help, how to hold onto hope and, most importantly, I know I’m not alone.

Recently, I found myself in a pool beneath an ice-cold waterfall, my arms outstretched and a rainbow shimmering in the spray around me. A year ago, I couldn’t have imagined that moment. Today, it reminds me just how much can change when you stay open to healing and allow yourself to believe that another life is possible.

If you’re reading this and struggling, please reach out. You do not have to go through this alone. There is a life worth living waiting for you, even if you can’t see it yet.

A lot can change in a year when you’re willing to take a chance, trust the process and stay open to change.

“If you or someone you love is struggling with an eating disorder, please reach out. Our team of professionals is here to help”. The Imani Team